Memoir

Amy Maria

As far back as I can recall I have had an interest in the esoteric. Walking through life listening to the wind and finding a sense of calm next to the waters.

 As a child, I was quiet and shy, deeply sensitive to the world around me. I felt most connected to the unseen realms—nature, plants, the elements, and creatures of the Earth. 

I believed they understood me, and I understood them. I never quite felt like I belonged here, and connecting with others didn’t come easily. I preferred playing outdoors, climbing trees, finding caterpillars and watching them transform into butterflies, or tromping through ditches, catching pollywogs and marveling as they became frogs. Indoors, I’d get lost in books—portals into fantastical worlds that fed my imagination.

By the fifth grade, I became rebellious. 

I never understood why anyone else should have power over my choices. My curiosity and longing for something deeper led me into early experimentation with drugs and alcohol. I knew there was more to life than what my “normal” American upbringing reflected, and this seeking took me on a 15-year journey—part mystical, part destructive, and entirely transformative.

Around 15, I began feeling drawn to my ancestral roots, especially the Gaelic traditions. I never fully knew my bloodline, but I carry threads of European descent—Norse through my name Norris, rooted in the old Viking peoples of the north, blended with Dark Irish likely touched by Spanish bloodlines, mixed with German roots, and a trace of Cherokee on my mother’s side. At 19, I gave birth to my daughter. I am grateful every day for the many gifts she gave me & continues to give me.

Being a mother has taught me more than all else.

Then came the Santo Daime church in Ashland, Oregon, and later, plant medicine ceremonies with elders from Peru and Colombia. These ways felt deeply familiar—as if they were already a part of me. I had teachers with whom I studied these ways over many years, learning icaros, limpias, and becoming a helper in ceremonies. In 2014 I traveled with a mentor and friend to the heart of the Amazon and was able to experience a traditional master plant dieta and partake in ceremonies. Experiencing the medicine in her homeland was a very different experience, giving me a lot more insight into her profound mystery.

Throughout my 20s, I lived a double life—partying and blacking out one night, and then sitting in sacred ceremony a few days later, praying for help & healing.

Addiction had a strong hold on me, but the medicines are powerful teachers. 

Over time, they made it painfully clear that I had to let go of what was harming me. My daughter was my primary catalyst for these changes. By age 30, I walked away from substances completely. Prayer, healing, and ceremony became my true path, and the shamanic traditions I encountered revealed themselves in many forms through my journey.

At 36, I began receiving clear messages that it was time to lay the entheogens down—with deep gratitude for all they had taught me and the healing I received.

 I felt it was time to integrate and to be fully in my physical body without drugs, alcohol, or entheogens. 

I left my hometown and moved to Santa Fe, New Mexico, a place that holds deep past-life remembrance for me, a holy land of deep enchantment and spirits. This is where I began studying Curanderismo, the folk healing traditions of Mesoamerica. I knew this was the next layer of healing—no longer flying out of my body, but grounding deeply into it.

I first learned about Moon Dance during a Curanderismo course at the University of New Mexico.

Six months later, on my first night in New Mexico, I laid a tobacco offering down to call in a Madrina to sponsor me.

In 2018, I found my Moon Dance sponsor. I traveled to Teotihuacan, Mexico to dance for four nights under the light of the moon with Abuela Malinalli at the Mother Dance, Ollintlahuimetztli. Shortly upon returning, I met and began apprenticing with Curandera Maestra CC (Cuauhtli Cihuatl), a lineage carrier of Abuelita Casi, in Kalpulli Teocalli Ollin.

In 2019, I took another pilgrimage to Teotihuacan. 

Maestra CC had a vision of me at the pyramids and gave me my first Nahuatl name, Mazatl Itzli Xochitl—Deer Woman of Obsidian Flowers—which I lovingly carried for the following six years. I also spent meaningful time studying with her teacher from Oaxaca City, Maestro Laurencio Nunez, a master of Curanderismo who is deeply loved and respected by all who meet him.

While in Santa Fe, I did a study with author & medicine man, Martin Prechtel, best known for his book Secrets of the Talking Jaguar.

I became an Aztec dancer—a calling I had felt before ever arriving in New Mexico. 

I danced for six years with Danza Tonantzin de Analco under Jefe Concha Garcia Allen. It was a deep honor to be welcomed into this kenetic ceremonial prayer as a person of European descent.

In 2018, I did my first vision fast with The School of Lost Borders in Abiquiu, NM. Then, in 2023, I recommitted to Moon Dance and recently completed my fourth consecutive year under the guidance of Susana Hernandez-Cook of Chicuahtlimetzli, the dance of the owl.

I received my Bastón and my new name, Acatl Tohtli— One Who Rises to Great Heights. 

I also received a sacred obsidian pipe with the commitment to pray with it every full moon until my dying day—a responsibility I don’t take lightly. These rites of passage, I believe, are what we are missing in modern-day society, as Malidoma Somé suggests, which is why so many young people become rebellious. I agree with him, as this was true for me.

In 2017, alongside my ceremonial work, I returned to college to pursue a formal education.

I wanted to bridge my love for traditional healing with Western approaches to counseling. 

I am currently in my Bachelor of Social Work field practicum and am working in hospice care. This field aligns with my deep connection to the underworld realms and my calling toward threshold work and death midwifery. I also hold certifications in Co-Active Coaching (100 hours), Somatic Therapy (60 hours), and am a certified peer support specialist.

While formal education has value, the greatest teachings I’ve received have come from life itself—through trial, hardship, addiction, healing, and spiritual devotion.

I carry the archetype of the wounded healer. I have communed with the angels and I have danced with the devil. I’ve known the kind of suffering that brings a person to their knees, and I know the inner battles we carry very well, and from that place, I have come to know Spirit in an intimate way.

My teacher, Maestra CC, repeatedly said to me, “Mija, la medicina es para todos (the medicine is for everyone).”

She encouraged me to claim my gifts and walk my path. 

For a long time, I struggled with this, especially as a white-presenting woman in sacred spaces. Yet, I’ve never taken anything that wasn’t offered to me. With respect, I walk with the permission and blessings of my elders. I am a cultural appreciator, not an appropriator. I believe we all come from Indigenous roots, and within my bones is an Indigenous Spirit.

If my story resonates with you, I invite you to connect. Together, we can walk a path of healing, remembrance, and renewal.